Articles Tagged with: blog
My lover, My best friend.

Thanks to a friend of mine, I spent an evening listening to one of the best albums I’ve ever heard and reading one of the most heart-breaking stories I have ever read (yet, thankfully, with a happy end). Daniel, you are an example. The Example. Every person who ever been hospitalised can relate to your story, myself not quite being an exception. Not everyone had went through this, though. Luckily. With all the hell broken through on you in these three months, you made it. And you made it worth, with all the music, the passion and dedication, with all the sharing. I know you will never read this, but I wish you all the best. Thank you, Daniel.

Watching the colours turning gray, in the passing light of day.

In the passing light of day.


One wonderful trait of winter is related to the time when it all gets cold and snowy (or rainy, like here in Berlin), and one sits mostly inside, wherever that be – home or other comfortable place, sipping a warm drink, contemplating, remembering the stories that happened before, stories one had promised to remember for ever, but seldom had time to get back to. These times, the diary or a journal proves to be invaluable. Otherwise, how would one remember all the details that are so important to conjure an accurate picture? Human memory is, sadly, finite and very, very selective. Regardless of their impact on the bigger picture, most details are never associated with our emotional response, and lack this little tag that one uses to fetch the memory from its shelf far beyond the surface that is a present moment.

Do I keep a journal? I don’t. Sadly. This blog can be called one, but then the gaps between posts are too large. I also am rather secretive of the inner thoughts and these details that compose my life, so I keep them mostly out of here. Sad as it is, most stories thus are gone, most details forgotten. Except those few, captured in pictures and words, in a notepad or here, online.

Yet, sometimes they pop up in the most unexpected fashion. One association leads to another, one tag after another and here we go: a bunch of files marked “archive, never to forget” are found in those wrinkles of a brain, producing a fountain of memories when opened.

I am twenty eight which is considered pretty young (although my parents don’t think so, at least with regards family-and-children-business, heh), yet the experiences I had in those short twenty-eight years are so valuable, conclusions and implications I had drawn are so worth remembering. Mistakes that I had done, lessons I have learnt (or didn’t) – all that is of extreme importance to me. What are we back to? I guess, taking time. Taking time to remember, to allow the mind wonder in the past and fetch those files, open them, and scan through, remind yourself of what had happened and enjoy the fact that this past is your past. And winter, snowy, rainy or just cold enough to keep one indoors is the perfect time.

Treasure your memories, don’t let them go.


An important date. A big milestone. Five years ago I arrived at TXL with a suitcase with a “heavy” sticker, a backpack full of photographic equipment and enthusiasm. After five years, I still live here, still work at the same company, own few more things, apart from that same suitcase, and still (hopefully) have same level of enthusiasm.

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A few days ago. I open the “new post” screen and I feel blocked, I just cannot produce anything that would be of any value. No inspiration – no post. Except this time. Just this time. Just because I got a year wiser. And you know, this autumn, it is beautiful.

A Sunday Post

The autumn is slowly getting its grip on Berlin, and with it – usual things – rains, clouds, colds. Even though today is a wonderfully sunny day, the stage has changed – it does not feel like summer any more – the wind is just a bit stronger and just a bit cooler, people’s clothes are just a bit heavier and more and more people prefer to stay in the coffee shop rather than sit outside. Autumn though is probably my favourite time of year here. In a few weeks all the greens will start turning into gold, and if we get lucky with a warm weather with timely rains, it would look incredible.

This blog might seem neglected for a while, but believe me it is neither forgotten nor given up upon. I try to write nowadays more than I ever did, but mostly – on paper. And sometimes you will see the results over here, good or bad.

Some people say that life consists of big events, but I disagree. I think life is a chain of details, little pleasant (or not so much) details: habits, chores and joys, like sitting next to the window, watching people in the street while sipping warm fruit tea. Do you agree?

On that note, I have to say good bye to you, close the laptop and get back to my practice. Wish you all a pleasant Sunday.

An Afternoon Post

After playing scales for 5 minutes I realised the doctor was right: it’s not much fun. Just a day back I got a tetanus shot and scales, evidently, are enough to aggravate the hand. Well then, I will do something I didn’t, for some time. So, at this hour, it is 29 degrees outside, it is sunny and my entire place is shining, every corner lit. Speakers play Das Wohltemperierte Klavier performed on piano by Vladimir Ashkenazy. My desk features a laptop, a Harvard Dictionary of Music, stationery, an IKEA advertisement booklet and some sheet music. My mind, however disappointed by inability to practice, is calm and active. Active mainly due to five cups of green tea consumed earlier.

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Post of Gratitude

What is the most wonderful thing after playing piano? Right, listening and watching someone playing piano. Especially if that someone plays really well. Accompanied by a right drink and nice people, that can turn into a one good memory. And so it did. Playing until dark and beyond, sipping high-ball, talking – all that together made one great night. Bach, Chopin, Mozart, Satie, Hisaishi and others, so many of my favourites..

Yesterday night, sitting there and listening, I started to wonder: would that have been possible, if I didn’t move to Berlin? Technically, getting a bunch of people together to play piano – why not? There are plenty good musicians in Russia and Voronezh is not an exception. But then – when you consider where those people are from – it might become much harder.. Try getting Taiwanese and Japanese in the same room in Voronezh and most likely you’ll fail miserably. Try adding to that Dutch and German – chances will be close to zero, unless, you know, all those people will come there for you.

And it’s not really about Voronezh or Russia, it’s just that Berlin is so special. Living here, I got used to this feeling – being always in the middle of something, surrounded by those hundreds of interesting events and thousands of wonderful people. And I shouldn’t take it for granted. I guess it’s always like that – I never see what’s right under my nose. Well now, I am happy that such a charming night made me realise how wonderful the life is, and how rare and unique certain events are.

So to all and everybody I know, from Berlin or not. You are great. You make it click. And thank you for being in my life.

Back, Again

Sun is slowly getting closer to the horizon. Despite the rainy morning, evening happens to be very pleasant, with just a touch of wind, rays of sunshine delicately warming up the body. It is a bit hard to believe, but it is summer. Writing this post means that I am actually back to the reality, or to the routine. And indeed, except for a little sun-tanned skin, there is almost no reminder of the fact that I was out for some time. Habits are strong and hard to break.

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Dance, Dance, Dance

You probably already got weary with me saying I didn’t write for a while and now here I am blah-blah. Well, this time nothing new either 🙂 I still have to figure out whether it’s good or bad, heh. Four days of holidays (disclaimer: a little cheating required) is a luxury. Really. It’s been two days, very relaxing (and very active as well), and now feeling that I have two more fills me with happiness and excitement.

Murakami still rocks my life. Eleven books so far, and counting. That is, today I finished “After Dark” and started with another one. I still don’t understand what exactly I like so much about the books, but, well, honestly – I don’t really care – as long as it works. I’ll read as long as it reads, and then will read something else.

A new prelude from J.S. in my songlist (although, as usual, it will take lots of time till I get to play it the way I want to) – BWV 999. “Few” more to go 😉 Yup, still dreaming about playing entire W.T.K. sometime. Goals should be challenging, right? So challenging they are..

Now, why the heading. I regularly highlight and save for later entire paragraphs. This one seem to describe my attitude towards life nowadays far more accurately than anything I could have written:

“Dance,” said the Sheep Man. “Yougottadance. Aslongasthemusicplays. Yougotta dance. Don’teventhinkwhy. Starttothink, yourfeetstop. Yourfeetstop, wegetstuck. Wegetstuck, you’restuck. Sodon’tpayanymind, nomatterhowdumb. Yougottakeepthestep. Yougottalimberup. Yougottaloosenwhatyoubolteddown. Yougottauseallyougot. Weknowyou’re tired, tiredandscared. Happenstoeveryone, okay? Justdon’tletyourfeetstop.”

With spaces for rests. It is important to rest, they say. Well, now I am listening. Here I am, late Friday evening, listening to the street and some music, having a glass of wine and writing this. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? 🙂

I wish everyone a pleasant weekend! And don’t forget to dance 😉

Inspiration and Routine

Where does inspiration come from? A sunny day, or a rainy one? People around, or solitude? Music, street sounds or complete silence? Because, ultimately, for good outcome one always needs passion, emotional attachment and – right – inspiration. I don’t think there’s an answer to any of the questions above, at least not a definite one – everyone has their own “thing”, something that keeps them going.

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