This post is long. Really, really long. Perhaps, the longest of mine. I warned you 🙂
And yet again I am writing late in the evening, on Sunday. This blog is turning into my notebook of thoughts 🙂 Well, perhaps it should be. Either way, I hope those thoughts are at least interesting, even if silly or childish. So.. what to start with.. This weekend was.. relaxing. For the first time in my life I made almost conscious decision (almost!) to stay alone the whole Saturday and just enjoy harmony and quietness of the day. And, for the first time in my life, I actually really enjoyed it. I started reading Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle. And I like it so far. Again, (as planned) I spent more than two (likely, three) hours in front of the piano. I hit the end of “Frantasia”, at last. Now it’ll take me months to develop proper dynamics and stop doing all those mistakes (I can do a lot in 7 minutes, believe me).
Also, something last week passed kind of unnoticed. Did I mention that I am living in Berlin for four years now? F-O-U-R years. Four. That is a long time, if you think of it (and an awfully little on the other hand). What did I learn in these four years?
- The city you live in, the people around you, the weather, everything, is just as good as you think of them. Living alone for four years, I had to go through a few challenges of communication, almost sunken deep into a depression and now I know: you are the one in control. Only you, that is.
- Berlin is awesome. It can be very ugly, it can be unfriendly, it can be even rude. But it’s awesome. Why? It gave me home for four years and always backed me up if I needed help. Every time I travel, I feel homesick. And I feel that towards Berlin. Perhaps it’s just my Berlin I miss. But nonetheless it is Berlin.
- Speaking German can be fun 🙂 Yes, it took me four years to realise that. Well, it’ll take four more (and a few classes perhaps, or at least much more manga than I am reading now) to get to the next level. But it’s worth it.
- Living abroad is challenging. It challenges your body (sauerkraut!), your mind (“Der nächster verfügbarer Termin ist in vier Monaten”) and your friends (“Because you left our country!”). Last sentence almost made a joke, but actually I am pretty serious (not about sauerkraut, that one I actually like). It is a challenge. To live abroad, not to loose your friends, not to lock yourself down in your apartment watching TV from your home country, to change/broaden your views, to find new friends. Maybe not all of these challenges are generic “Ausländer” challenges, but those were mine. And some challenges are still there, although I won’t like to mention them here.
- German Beer is pretty good, but I like foreign ones more. And I’ll never, never ever, drink German (also applies to all neighbouring countries’ ones) whisky again.
To sum it up.. After moving to Berlin, a few times I was on the edge of loosing myself. Perhaps I was even beyond this edge. It was the biggest challenge. Don’t ever loose yourself.
W0w now that post ended up long. Typed thoughts in order they jumped into my head. So, please don’t judge. I guess now I can say that quota for the next few weeks is fulfilled 😉 Have a nice Sunday’s sleep and a productive working week!
P.S.: I love those shadows in the picture. Do you? I noted down this place last spring, and ever since it doesn’t stop to surprise me. The shadows are different every time of year ^_^